MS and chronic illness dating in the UK, planned around your energy
MS, ME, fibromyalgia, lupus, Crohn's, arthritis or long Covid: meet UK singles who understand that a cancelled plan is not a cancelled person.
Dating with a chronic illness, without pretending to be well
Long-term illness has a way of making dating feel like a performance. You save your energy for the date, look fine for three hours, then spend two days recovering, and the other person has no idea any of it happened. Many conditions are invisible, so you are always deciding whether to explain or to push through.
Disability Dates is a chronic illness dating site where you can drop the act. Put "I have MS and some days are slower than others" in your profile and the people who reply already know. Talk in messages from the sofa for as long as you like; meet when you have the energy, not because the app expects it.
Dating on an energy budget
Spend wisely
If you count your energy in spoons, a date is a few of them. Keep it short and local, and leave a gap the next day so a good evening does not cost you a week.
Rearrange without guilt
Flare-ups do not check your diary. Agree early on that either of you can move a date at short notice, and it stops being a big deal when it happens.
Make it easy
A video call, a short coffee near home, or lunch rather than a late night. The best low-energy dates still feel like proper dates.
Dating with MS: what tends to help
Multiple sclerosis is different for everyone, and it can change from one year, or one week, to the next. Fatigue is the big one for many people, so plan dates for your better time of day and keep the first one short. Heat can make MS symptoms worse for a while, which makes a packed bar in July a poor choice; a shady garden or a cool gallery is kinder.
If you use a stick, a scooter or a wheelchair on some days and not others, mention it, so your date is not caught off guard. Knowing where the nearest accessible toilet is, and having a seat close by, takes a lot of worry out of an evening. And if brain fog steals a word now and then, a light “my MS just ate that word” usually gets a laugh and moves things on.
What to say about your condition
You do not need to share a diagnosis, symptoms or a medication list. A sentence about how it affects your life is enough, and it tells people far more than a medical label.
The MS Society, Versus Arthritis and the ME Association all run online communities if you would like to swap dating stories with people who live with the same condition.
- "I have fibromyalgia, so I am more of a daytime person."
- "MS means I sometimes use a stick, and I always need a seat."
- "I may need to reschedule now and then. It is never personal."
- "My ideal date is a good pub lunch and an early night."
A few members you could message
Real people on Disability Dates in the UK. Join without paying to see everyone.
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ID verified Bebob, 51
Glasgow
I’m 51 years old, short, but regularly get told I look young for my age (the photos are a couple of years, and a few pounds out of date, but they are still me). I guess in some ways, I am still young at heart. I grew up in the 90s and have spent a lot of time in clubs and partying and that is no longer my thing. Looking for someone who wants to get to know me like I want to get to know them. I write; been working on a fantasy book for a couple of years. I like walks and the outdoors, pubs and restaurants, movies, art, theatre, sport, and being true to myself. Open to ideas and suggestions for things to do. I have bipolar disorder and have not been working for a year, so I can’t treat you in the style to which you might have become accustomed! But I’m honest, and romantic and looking for someone to cuddle. See you down the line.
Join to say hello -
ID verified Delbert007, 57
Ashford
I enjoy holidays, driving around the country, meeting people, eating out.chilling on the sofa with some good company and a great film and generally having a good time.
Join to say hello -
ID verified nikki, 60
Coventry
i love the great outdoors enjoy exploring different places would love some company
Join to say hello -
Pea711, 49
Turriff
I'm a 49-year-old man, standing at 5'10", seeking a relationship with a woman who shares my interests in going out and enjoying good music and movies. I enjoy the occasional drink. If you're looking for someone genuine, let's connect and see where it leads.
Join to say hello -
BraveBossjbbgab, 41
Luton
I’m a loving, loyal, and honest woman who believes a relationship should be built on trust, respect, and good communication. I enjoy spending quality time together, having a laugh, and supporting each other through both the good times and the difficult ones.
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Stacer88, 37
Walsall
I like the movies and listening to music I like to laugh and cook for guests
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Pauliejohn5, 54
Dymchurch
I enjoy travelling reading and good company just want to find someone normal ish to enjoy life with
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Racheal94, 32
Leigh-on-sea
What makes me happiest is spending time with my family and friends, having a good laugh and making people smile. I love comedy, especially Ricky Gervais and After Life, and I enjoy telling jokes and having a bit of banter. I also like going out for lunch, enjoying a nice cup of tea and spending quality time with people I care about. I’m happiest when I can be myself, have a laugh and enjoy the little things in life. I’d love to meet someone I can share laughs, good times and new experiences with.
Join to say hello -
Adele, 34
Ely
cats friendS and family talkig 2 friends and talking my friends dog out
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IntriguingCanary676, 38
Maidstone
I love animals, theatre, music and helping others.
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Happylady, 48
Chatham
I am friendly. I come from Slovakia. My English level is not very good, if you don't mind I would be great.
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Royhanch, 61
Wolverhampton
Hey there! I’m a 6ft 1in gent from Wolverhampton who’s ready to find that special someone. Cooking up a storm in the kitchen and enjoying a good film are some of my favourite pastimes. Being a wheelchair user hasn’t slowed me down, and I’m always up for an adventure. Let’s grab a drink and see where the conversation takes us!
Join to say hello - Join free to see more
When the illness is invisible
Looking well and feeling well are not the same thing, and people who have not lived with chronic illness often mix them up. Here you will not have to defend a parking badge or explain why you are sitting down at a gig.
And if you have only recently been diagnosed, give yourself time. Dating can wait until you are ready, and when you are, messages are a gentle place to start.
Dating someone with a chronic illness
Believe them. If they say they are exhausted, they are, even if they looked fine an hour ago. Resist the urge to suggest cures; most people with a long-term condition have heard about turmeric, yoga and cold showers more times than they can count. Ask what a bad day looks like for them instead, and what helps.
Be ready for plans to move, and do not keep score when they do. Offer easy dates: a film at home, a short walk, a takeaway. A relationship with someone who is chronically ill is still a partnership, not a care plan, so let them do what they can and lean on you when they choose to. Being dependable, and relaxed about the rest, is one of the most attractive things you can offer.
MS and chronic illness dating questions
Is there a dating site for people with MS or chronic illness in the UK?
Yes. Singles living with MS, ME, fibromyalgia, arthritis, Crohn's, lupus, long Covid and other long-term conditions are all welcome on Disability Dates, wherever they are in the UK. You can join for free.
Do I have to say what my condition is?
No. Describe how it affects you if you like, name it if you prefer, or leave it until later. Your profile, your call.
What if I have to cancel a date?
Tell them as soon as you know and suggest another time. Agreeing early on that plans can move takes the pressure off both of you.
Is a video call a real date?
Of course. On a low-energy day a video call can be the best kind of date, and it is a sensible step before meeting anyone in person.
Is there a chronic illness dating app?
No app store needed. Open Disability Dates in your phone's browser and save it to your home screen, so it is there whenever you have the energy to chat.
Is it for Crohn's, colitis and other gut conditions too?
Yes. People living with Crohn's, colitis and other gut conditions are welcome. Picking a venue where you know exactly where the toilets are can make a first date far less stressful.
Is it for people with invisible illnesses?
Very much so. Many long-term conditions do not show from the outside, and you will not be asked to prove anything.